


We are not Broken

by TuppingLiberty



Series: Organa's Organics [19]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 00:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6216919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn and Poe are asked to consider adopting another child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We are not Broken

“Hey, Daddy?” Amelia called from the dining room table.

“Yes, sweet pea,” Finn answered distractedly, scouring the kitchen cupboards for the applesauce packets he _knew_ he bought at the store.  

“Daddy?” Amelia’s voice was closer this time, and Finn turned around to find her staring up at him.

He crouched. “Yes, sweet pea?”

“Did you have a nightmare last night?  Because I heard you yelling and I know sometimes I yell in my dreams so I thought maybe you had a bad dream?”

Finn felt himself flush as he remembered _exactly_ what Poe had done to him last night to get him to lose himself and yell out loud when Amelia had been sleeping.   _This awkward family moment has been brought to you by our sponsor, Soccer Poe_ , Finn thought sarcastically.  He schooled his face into a calm expression. “Yeah, Amelia, I had a bad dream, and your daddy helped me fall back asleep afterwards, just like he helps you.  Sorry I woke you up, sweet pea.”

Amelia had the most sincere look on her face, and Finn vowed then and there that Poe was going to get it later, _quietly_ , for this. Amelia hugged him, then rubbed his back like he did for her when she was upset. “It’s okay, Daddy. Did he tell you, ‘You are not alone’? Because that’s my favorite part. I only have to be alone when I choose to be, right Daddy?”

Finn pulled her back and looked into her eyes. “You can always choose to be alone whenever you want, but you’ll carry us here anyway,” Finn said as he placed a hand over her heart.  He kissed her forehead, then huffed out a breath. “Now, Amelia, do you happen to remember at all where Daddy put the applesauce for your lunch?”

“It’s over here, babe.” Poe walked into the kitchen, opening a cupboard Finn swore he’d checked, and pulling out a packet. He handed it to Finn, stealing a kiss on the cheek as he did so.  “Amelia, time for socks and shoes and coat!  We need to get ready for school.”

Amelia gasped in delight and ran out of the room.

Poe watched her, grinning, then turned to Finn, who was continuing to put together her lunch at the counter.  “Those light up Elsa shoes were the best birthday present idea ever, Finn. Who knew she’d get so excited to put on her shoes every day?”  They had celebrated Amelia’s birthday the week before by taking her to a local ice skating rink.  Amelia had been a natural, and Finn had managed to get by, but Poe had spent more time on his butt than on his feet, until he declared he would just take pictures from the sidelines. They’d come across barely anything involving physical activity, especially if it involved the outdoors, that Amelia didn’t enjoy or even excel at. It could be complicated to keep up with her blood sugar since she was so active, but there was no way they were letting diabetes limit their little girl. Poe was itching to teach her to ride.  He and Finn had agreed that six more months, in the upcoming summer, would be a good time to start.  They were having less success with getting Amelia to enjoy the Japanese culture lessons she took from an older woman in Salem, probably because it involved sitting still for too long.

“I know, I’m a genius.  An Amelia-whisperer. I should write books to share my knowl- hey!” Finn laughed as Poe grabbed him around the waist, tickling his stomach.

“How are you feeling after last night?” Poe whispered in his ear, his breath tickling Finn’s neck.

“Well, considering Amelia heard everything, I’m feeling slight regret.”

Poe laughed outright. “Well, never could keep you quiet.  I’m surprised it’s taken almost a year for Amelia to say something.”

Finn rolled his eyes, although he had to admit Poe had a point, not that he would ever tell him that out loud. “Okay, different subject.” Finn turned, looking Poe in the eye. “Should we tell Amelia about our appointment today?” Finn was going along for the ride as Poe took Amelia to school because they had an appointment with Sharon, their adoption advisor, right after.

“I think we should wait.  We don’t know what’s going to happen, just that Sharon has another match for us.  And we have to be cautious, because we have one more person to consider now,” Poe reasoned.

“You’re sure you’re ready to add to the family again, if this is a match?” Finn’s forehead wrinkled. They hadn’t really planned on adding another kid to the family so soon, but Sharon had called last week and asked if they’d be willing to look at someone’s file.

“I wouldn’t have agreed to the appointment if I felt like I couldn't handle it, because we both know I’m going to go in there and want to end up adopting all the children again. Until we have enough for our own soccer team.”

Finn smiled. “We’d have to build an extension on the house.  Maybe a wing of bunk beds.” Poe laughed, then they both turned at the clomping sound of Amelia running through the house in her Elsa shoes.

“I’m ready!” She yelled as she ran into the kitchen, skipping around Finn and Poe so that she could watch her shoes light up more.

They successfully dropped Amelia off at daycare, although they got sidetracked when Amelia insisted on introducing Finn to all of her friends and favorite toys (which she introduced to him just as ceremoniously as she had done with the people). A short time later they found themselves on the loveseat in Sharon’s office once again, holding hands and waiting while she pulled out the correct file.

“I just want to start by saying thank you for considering this. I know we didn’t intend to be seeing each other again less than a year after the last time, but I have a case that I really want to share with you. Well, Avery and I do. We’ve been putting our heads together again on this one. If you’ll consider it, and if things go well between he and Amelia, I truly believe you’ll be the right home for Sam.”

She pulled out a picture and handed it to Poe, who held it in front of both of them.  Finn’s eyes widened as he took in the image of a teenage boy, beanpole skinny but slight in stature, with delicate features and shaggy brown hair doing its best to hide the massive purple bruise standing out on the boy’s pale cheek.

“How old is he?” Poe asked.

“Sam will be turning 14 in March.  He’s currently an 8th grader.”

“How did he get the bruise?” Finn asked, forcing the words through clenched teeth, and Poe glanced at him, then squeezed the hand he held.

“Sam was removed from an abusive home last spring. The state was alerted by a teacher. His mother died when he was young, and Sam was living with only his father, who is now in jail for this abuse.  I want you to know that, if you agree ultimately to adopt Sam, he’s still going to be facing his father’s trial and the trauma that will bring up.”

Finn clenched the hand that wasn’t grasping Poe’s into a fist, then consciously released it. Anger was useless here. “So, since the spring, he’s been…”

“Avery has had a hard time finding a good foster placement for Sam.  As you can expect, his past experiences have left a lot of damage, and he sometimes lashes out, at others, or himself.  He was placed in a group foster home a couple of months ago. He receives counseling there, and schooling.  But he’s had...altercations… with some of the other teens there.”

Poe’s eyes widened. “Would he be safe to have around Amelia?”

Sharon looked him directly in the eyes. “I completely understand that concern, Poe.  I want you to know that I would never be bringing this up to you if I believed Sam was capable of hurting anyone in your family.  But the ultimate deciding factor will be meeting Sam, and if that goes well, having Amelia meet Sam.  And I need you to know one other thing.  Many of these altercations have centered around the fact that Sam’s gay.”

Finn let some of his anger simmer to the surface. “Why does he have to stay there if this is how he’s being treated?”

Sharon sighed. “Avery knows it’s not a good situation, which is one of the reasons she reached out to me to contact you two.  She can’t find a foster situation that can follow Sam’s therapy schedule, and home schooling is best for him right now.”

Both Finn and Poe lapsed into silence, considering. Finn looked back down at the picture of Sam that Finn held. Poe spoke first. “I never expected a teenager.”

“Neither did I,” Finn replied.

Sharon looked pained. “Teenagers are notoriously hard to place into adoptive families. They often end up just getting emancipated and striking out on their own.” Finn frowned.

“I don’t want him to have to do that, if we can help it,” Poe said.

“I don’t want him to have to stay in what’s obviously a toxic environment anymore. And I don’t want him to have to face that motherfucker of a father in court by himself.” Finn’s eyes were fierce.

“So, we’ll meet him.”  

Poe had said it as a statement, but Finn answered anyway. “We’ll meet him.”

\------------------------------

It was hard for Finn to figure out if he felt more nervous now or back when they had first met Amelia. There was no way to charm a teenager with a stuffed cat, unless of course the giver was another teenager.  Finn felt like he'd never been this unsure of himself with Amelia. On the other hand, Poe looked cool as a cucumber. Maybe it was because he worked with teens on the farm in the summer.

Everyone had agreed that meeting on neutral ground would be best, and they'd chosen a coffee house near the group home, which was an hour away in Beaverton. Finn chewed his lip as he got out of the pickup, and Poe held out his hand for comfort. Finn took it, figuring that if showing Poe affection made him uncool in the eyes of the teenager, they might as well get it out of the way right away, because Finn and Poe were not lacking in the department of public displays of affection.

Avery and Sam were already inside, and both stood, Avery making the introductions. Sam surprised Finn by sticking his hand out for both of them, shaking weakly, but shaking hands nonetheless.

Drinks and pastries ordered, they sat around the table, Poe comfortably setting his arm around Finn’s shoulder. Sam eyed the move, but said nothing. He popped his knuckles, and Finn noticed the knuckles on his right hand were red and raw.

“So, who talks first? Do I talk first?” Sam said, a hint of sarcasm detectable in his tone.

Avery frowned even as Poe smirked. He had always appreciated smartasses. “It's weird, isn't it? We have a daughter. We adopted her last year when she was four. We broke the ice with a book about animal sounds, but somehow I don't think that will work with you.”

Sam cracked a small smile. “I accelerated past animal sounds a long time ago. I'm all the way up to “See Spot run!” now.”

This time, Poe laughed, and Finn grinned. “Good, you could help Amelia with her homework,” Poe quipped.

Sam actually laughed, but the sound seemed to startle him and he quieted almost immediately and turned to Avery, starting to stand. “Do we really have to do this? We all know I'm going back to the group home. There's no way these guys are taking me when they have a tiny daughter.”

“Amelia may be little, but she's also fierce. She can withstand a lot.” Poe looked into Sam’s eyes. “Stay. Chat with us. None of us can make any decisions if we don't keep moving forward.”

Sam sat back down again. “What should we chat about?”

Finn broke in. “What do you like to do?”

“Uh, well, at the group home, I mostly try to find a space to myself and draw.” He indicated a worn spiral notebook in front of him on the table.

“Feel free to say no, because I absolutely understand a right to privacy, but can we see?” Finn gestured at the notebook.

Sam shrugged, that way teens do when they really do care about a thing they don't want to care about. He pushed the notebook over to Finn, and Finn prepared himself to praise whatever was in the notebook even if it was atrocious. As he flipped through the pages, though, he realized Sam had some raw talent that was slowly being honed through skill. He drew portraits, landscapes, even a still life here or there. Peppered throughout the pages was the name Meghan, and Finn wondered if maybe Sharon had been incorrect and Sam was bi or pan, not gay. “Sam, this work is really, really well done.” Finn noticed that Sam seemed to shudder at the use of his name. Finn pursed his lips, deciding to distract rather than pursue. “How long have you been drawing?”

There was that half shrug again, and Sam seemed more withdrawn, but he did answer, “As long as I can remember. I used to do cartooning but lately I like to make things look real.” Sam’s enthusiasm was picking up again. “I watched this YouTube video of a person doing photo-realistic paintings a few months ago, and he said practice, so that's what I've been doing.”

“That's awesome,” Poe said, smiling. “I don't know many adults who decide to commit to something like that.”

Sam looked really pleased with Poe’s praise. It made Finn want to compliment every little thing about him right then and there, because he obviously hadn't heard enough in his life. He knew it would be taken as pity, though.

“Where do you guys live?” Sam asked.

Finn sat back as Poe explained the farm to Sam, smiling as he always did when he watched the love of his life talk about the farm with such enthusiasm and light in his eyes. He saw Sam glance his way several times, smiling a little along with Finn.

The conversation moved along from there and ended up being over an hour long, Sam alternating between sincere and sarcastic. Poe and Finn tried to give Sam the best idea of what life with them would be like, talking about Amelia and her condition, the house, their routines. They talked about the local high schools, saying they'd be willing to drive to whichever one suited Sam, as they already had to drive to drop off Amelia. Finn made sure not to say Sam’s name again, and noticed that Poe didn't either, that he must have picked up on that, too.

When the conversation wound down, Avery got their attention by clearing her throat. “Ultimately in an older placement, it works best if he is the one to decide if he wants to try it out.” She moved her hand on the table towards Sam, but didn't touch him, Finn noted. He'd have to remember that, considering Finn was very touchy-feely. “In the end, honey, the state can put you where they want, but I'll fight tooth and nail to give you what _you_ want. That's my job.”

Finn had to imagine that Sam felt intense pressure now, as Sam squirmed a bit in his chair. “It's okay, though. You don't have to make a decision today,” Poe reassured him. “And I want you to know that our decision will be dependent on Amelia. But,” Poe glanced at Finn, and Finn nodded, “we would love to try it out. We'd love to give you a safe space to be yourself.”

Sam nodded, then asked them to excuse him as he went to the restroom.

Avery turned to Finn. “I'm so sorry, I forgot to warn you about the name. His counselor thinks that he reacts negatively to it because his father’s name is also Sam.”

Finn nodded as his heart broke a little. “That makes sense.” Avery filled them in on the latest developments in the case against Sam’s dad until they saw Sam making his way back. They said their goodbyes, Finn and Poe both hoping Sam would choose to test out life with their small family.

\---------------

The Friday after their first meeting, Finn was busy in the office he'd inherited from Greg after his retirement, getting everything ready for a citizenship hearing, when his intercom buzzed and his assistant Paula’s voice came through.

“Finn, you have a phone call coming in, it's collect and the person didn't identify themself. Do you want to take it?”

“Sure,” he replied, picking up his phone. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence, but it wasn't unusual for anonymous calls about immigrant issues to come in, either. “This is Finn Smith at the Lockhart Firm, how can I help you?”

“Finn?” There was a lot of background noise, but Finn recognized Sam’s voice. “It's...me.”

“Yeah, I gotcha, buddy.” Finn fleetingly thought that if Sam did decide to move in with them, they'd have to figure out this name thing quickly. Concern spiked through Finn as he heard loud car horns through the phone. “Where are you?”

“I...I ran away from the group home. I took a bus, the first one I could find, and rode it until the end of the line. I'm at the bus depot now, in Portland. I...don't know what to do next. I ran out of money.” Sam's voice got really small. “I think I might have to spend the night here, and I'm scared. I couldn't remember the name of the farm, but I found you under immigration lawyers.”

Finn was on high alert, now. “Are you currently in a safe place? Is there a cafe you could go into, be around other people?”

Finn heard Sam sniffle through the phone. “Yeah, there's a Burger King across the street. I could go there.”

“I can be there in 45 minutes. I want you to go into the Burger King and stay there until I find you, okay?”

More sniffles. “Okay.”

“Do you have your notebook?”

“Yeah.”

“Draw a picture of the person working behind the counter at Burger King. I'll be there before you know it.”

“Okay. Finn? Thank you.”

Finn was already calling Poe as he ended the call with Sam. He quickly explained what was happening. “Can you make it, Poe? Because he'll want you. He connected to you first, he wanted to call the farm but didn’t remember the name.” Finn was rapidly grabbing his stuff, mouthing “Emergency, I'll call you,” to his assistant, and slipping his hands-free device into his ear.

“Yeah, I'm already on my way to my pickup.” Poe replied, his voice hard. “I'll meet you guys there.”

On the road, Finn called Avery, leaving a message when it went to voicemail. He considered calling the group home but he didn't know the name, couldn't remember it through the red haze of panic that was threatening to overtake his system. He drove as fast as he felt he could get away with, hands gripping the wheel tightly. When he had finally parked and rushed into the Burger King, his heart settled when he saw Sam in a corner booth, looking small and scared, wrapped into himself. Finn forced himself to calm and walk over slowly, resisting the urge to pull Sam into a hug.

“Hi, buddy,” Finn said with a brightness he didn't feel as he slid into the opposite side of the booth. “No one bothered you, right?”

Sam looked up, and Finn could see tear tracks down his cheeks, but he smiled in relief at the sight of Finn. “Hi.” He shifted, winced, and Finn went on high alert again.

“Are you hurt?” His voice came out stronger than he'd meant, and Sam shied away. Finn cleared his throat. “I'm sorry,” he said in a soothing tone. “I didn't mean to raise my voice. I just need to know if we need to go to the doctor.”

Finn could tell Sam was favoring his left side. Sam kept his eyes down. “It hurts to move my arm,” he admitted.

“Okay.” Finn knew he needed to get Sam to relax, so that he could coax him to the doctor.  But he also needed information.  “Was there another fight at the group home?”

Sam nodded. “Timothy, just like before. He thinks I like him, thinks I look at him when he's changing, but I didn't!” Sam looked into Finn’s eyes then, pleading with him to understand.

“Of course you didn't. You didn't deserve this, buddy. None of it.” Finn held Sam's eyes with his, willing him to believe it. They both broke the eye contact at the sound of Finn’s cell phone text alert chiming. Finn checked it, then looked back up at Sam. “Poe's here,” he said, then was rewarded for calling Poe when Sam visibly relaxed a little more. Poe strode up, looking like the protective cowboy Finn had first imagined him, as if he wore guns on his hips and was ready to use them to defend his family. Before he could say anything, Finn spoke calmly. “He was attacked at the group home. We need to go to the doctor.” Finn began to look for the nearest Urgent Care on his phone.

“Can I sit here?” Poe asked, indicating the booth seat beside Sam. Sam nodded. “Attacked, huh? Can you move your fingers?”

Sam shook his head. “Hurts,” he said in a quiet voice.

“There's an urgent care a few blocks from here. We could all take my car,” Finn said, thinking the sedan would be easier for Sam to get into.

“Are you okay with that? Are you ready to move?” Finn asked Sam. He nodded, seeming subdued but also much more relaxed by the presence of Finn and Poe.

When they were all in the car, Finn said, “Poe, could you leave another message with Avery? I couldn't reach her earlier.”

Apparently Poe did reach her, and they had a brief conversation. “She's meeting us at Urgent Care. She didn't even know he was gone, the group home hadn't reported it.” Finn could tell Poe was trying to keep his voice intentionally light so as to not startle Sam with his anger. Finn heard Poe place another call, to Anne, asking if she and Leia could pick Amelia up from school and watch her until they got home.

At Urgent Care, Finn motioned for Poe and Sam to sit down while he waited in line. Checking in was complicated, because neither man was Sam’s legal guardian, and Avery hadn't arrived yet. Finn eventually got frustrated enough that he used his low, scary voice on the receptionist. “Listen, I will pay for everything out of pocket, but you can't just let a kid sit there in pain because he's got no one left in the world. Call this number, talk to Avery. She'll verify his status.” The receptionist very grudgingly verified with Avery the consent of the state for a doctor to look at Sam.

She looked at Finn over her little glasses. “But neither of you will be able to go back with him,” she said sternly.

Finn wanted to argue, knew it was useless. He went back over to Sam and Poe and delivered the news. “Will you be okay by yourself?” He asked Sam.

Sam nodded, and Finn wasn't sure if he was subdued by the pain or by the events, but he found himself wishing for the sarcastic kid he'd met a few days ago. _Please, whoever’s out there, let him mesh well with Amelia, because I don't think I can give him up at this point._

They called Sam back, by name, of course, and all three of them winced. Finn couldn't help himself, and touched Sam lightly on his non-injured shoulder. Sam looked up at him. “We'll be right here the whole time. You’re not alone. And after, we're taking you home with us, and you won’t have to go back to that group home ever again.”

Sam nodded, a slight smile on his face despite the deep lines of worry and pain, and walked through the door with the nurse.

Finn immediately started pacing, the adrenaline of the last two hours finally catching up with him all at once. “What the fuck, Poe,” he said, a little too loudly, and other people in the waiting room glared. He stopped in front of Poe, grabbing the lapels of his leather jacket and pulling him gently closer. “What the fuck,” he said again, leaning in to rest his head on Poe’s shoulder. He could feel the vibrations in Poe’s tense body, but Poe wrapped his arms around Finn and squeezed.

“I agree,” Poe murmured in his ear, the anger in his voice barely contained.

When Avery arrived a few minutes later, she looked upset to see Finn and Poe in the waiting area, and walked up to the receptionist. Within minutes, the three of them were headed back to the patient room assigned to Sam.  “The receptionist said he’s getting x-rays done, but he’ll be right back to this room soon.” Avery looked apologetic. “I need to finish my conversation with my supervisor about this. I hope you don’t mind if I step outside.”

Finn shook his head and Poe replied, “Tell him Sam’s coming back with us after this.  I don’t care if it’s only temporary, he’s not going back to that place.”

“Of course, I already had someone back at the office start on the paperwork.  I’ll be back,” Avery said, shutting the door behind her.

There was nothing to do but wait, and Finn clung to one of Poe’s hands as they sat in the chairs. He turned to Poe. “I’ve never really appreciated what you went through when I had to have surgery.  It’s been ten minutes, and that was hours?  I don’t know how you survived.”

“I survived because I knew you were going to be okay, in my heart, and because I was surrounded by people I loved.  So, we know that Sam’s going to be okay, and we’re here for each other.  We’ll survive.” Poe punctuated the statement with a kiss across Finn’s knuckles.

The door opened, and a nurse brought Sam in in a wheelchair. Sam took in Poe and Finn’s clasped hands and lit up with a goofy smile. “I like how you guys do that. Touch each other,” he clarified, then giggled.

Finn looked up at the nurse with a confused look on his face, and the nurse smiled apologetically. “We had to give him some morphine for the pain.  It’s a simple break, but there’s a lot of swelling because it’s been so long since it happened, so it’s going to hurt a lot when we reset it. Morphine tends to make people loopy.”

“Doesn’t hurt at all now, isn’t that weird?” Sam added.

The nurse smiled over Sam’s head. “It’s going to be a little bit longer, but I’ll be back as soon as possible with a doctor to set the arm. Just stay comfortable, okay, dude?” At the use of the epithet Finn realized that Sam must have told the nurse how he felt about the use of his name. Avery came back into the room just as the nurse left, closing the door behind him.

“I didn’t look at Timothy.”

Poe was answering before Finn or Avery could reassure Sam again. “Bigots will always find a reason to attack us.  Their reasons are bullshit excuses 100% of the time.  It’s not your fault you were placed with some homophobic asshole.”

Poe’s language made Sam giggle again. “Not supposed to say that.”

Poe grinned. “Report me to the teacher, then.”

Sam sobered. “If only Timothy understood. I’m _not_ gay.”

Avery frowned, and Poe got a confused look on his face and asked, “What doesn’t Timothy understand?”

Finn, however, was putting two and two together from earlier. “Who’s Meghan, buddy?”

It was Sam’s turn to look confused.  “How’d you find out about that, Finn?” He didn’t wait for Finn to answer. “I’m Meghan.”

That wasn’t what Finn had been expecting, but suddenly lots of things about Sam - Meghan, he corrected himself - seemed to fall into place, especially the reticence of using his - her? - name. So in Meghan’s mind, even if she liked boys, she wasn’t gay, because she was...a she?

“What pronouns do you prefer?” Poe asked, and Finn realized he must have been thinking along the same lines as Finn.

Meghan looked confused again, kind of like a puppy. “Huh?”

Finn smiled a little. “This is maybe not the best conversation to be having when Meghan’s high on morphine.”  Avery stood back, letting the scene play out.

Meghan smiled back at him. “It sounds so good out loud.”

Poe leaned over to rub Meghan’s knee quickly. “Is this...are we the first people you’ve told?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, you guys are easy to talk to. And my dad said I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone, but I don’t have to listen to him anymore, my counselor said.” Meghan’s grin was toothy and infectious. “I’m glad I get to go home with you, you said I get to be myself. I want to be Meghan.”

“Then you’ll be Meghan, no arguments here,” Finn replied, and Poe nodded.

There was a quick knock on the door, and the same nurse entered, followed by a doctor.  Poe and Finn stood, and the doctor held out his hand to shake. “Hi, I’m Dr. Hughes. Quite a crowd in here today.” Poe and Finn introduced themselves. “So, we’re looking at a simple fracture here, the good news is it’s a clean break, Sam.”

The nurse stopped prepping his station, “Oh, Dr. Hughes, he prefers-”

“Meghan,” Poe broke in.

“She,” Meghan corrected quietly, and Poe and Finn stood tense, expecting a fight but absolutely ready to engage in it.

Dr. Hughes simply continued his explanation, though. “You’ll have to wear the cast for about 6 weeks, Meghan, so you should probably pick a color you really like.” He spread out the options in front of her.

“I can draw on it, right?”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem, or if you want to get it signed, you can do that too.”

“I want white, so I can draw.”

“Sounds great,” Dr. Hughes said, and began the process of applying the cast to her arm. When the process was done, he stood. “You might want to wear dresses and skirts for the next few weeks, Meghan.  Jeans are going to be impossible to zip up one handed.”

Meghan looked at the doctor with a huge amount of gratefulness, and her eyes teared up a little. “I don’t think I’ll mind that.”

“Good. Eric here is going to help you back into your t-shirt, unless you’d like me to call a female nurse?”

“No, it’s okay.  Eric is nice.”

“Yeah, he’s a good kid.  If I could just speak to the adults in the hallway for a minute?”  He opened the door, gesturing outside, and Finn, Poe and Avery followed.

“So obviously I don’t know the full story here, but I can read between the lines. My nurses are all trained to ask for preferred names and pronouns, so I’m guessing that Eric didn’t make a major mistake back there and that Meghan just came out for the first time?”  They all nodded.  “I don’t have a handy-dandy “So Your Child is Transgender” pamphlet to hand you.  But, honestly, the internet will be extremely helpful.  I do know that you’re going to want to find Meghan a gender therapist.”

Poe narrowed his eyes. “That’s not where they try to convince her she’s crazy, or going through a phase, right?”

“No, they’re specially trained therapists who can help with the transition. A therapist can help Meghan deal with her gender dysphoria.”

Finn was already beginning to create a list of topics he was going to be researching as soon as he had a chance. Arming himself with information had worked with Amelia’s diabetes, after all.  

The adults turned as the door opened, and Eric emerged with Meghan, still in the wheelchair, white cast tucked in her lap.

Poe turned to Finn. “I’ll go get the car, you deal with the paperwork?”

“Oh sure, sounds great,” Finn replied sarcastically, before leaning in to give Poe a kiss on the cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” he murmured back.

After Finn paid the bill, he wheeled Meghan outside, where Poe helped her into the backseat and buckled her belt for her. She looked up at him and Finn, hero worship evident in her eyes. Finn’s breath caught in his chest, love and a fierce protectiveness blooming inside him.

Avery pulled her phone away from her ear. “You guys are cleared to take Meghan home. I’ll call later tonight, and we’ll set up a time for the paperwork?” She pulled Finn into a side hug. “I know it’s a lot more to take on all of a sudden, guys, but I think-”

Poe cut her off. “As long as Meghan’s okay with it, and as long as Amelia’s okay with it, she’s staying with us, permanently, Avery. Finn and I made that decision before this, and nothing’s changed.” Finn nodded.

“Well, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.  I wish all of my adoptive parents were as easy to work with.” The social worker looked tired.

“You do an amazing job, Avery. You’re going to make sure someone’s ass is fried for today, right?”

Avery smiled. “Indeed.” She waved goodbye and hurried to her car.

Finn dropped off Poe at his truck, and they caravanned back to the house.  Sometime during the stop and go traffic, Meghan drifted off in the back seat, and was still asleep by the time they got back home. Finn lifted her carefully into his arms, trying not to jostle her cast. Poe grabbed the door, and Finn headed directly upstairs, to the bedroom next to Amelia’s that was only half set up. Luckily, the bed was made.

Meghan woke up as Finn laid her down. He brushed some of her hair out of her eyes. “It’s okay, honey, you can go back to sleep. You’re home, now.” Meghan nodded, closing her eyes again.

Finn and Poe stood in her doorway, watching her even breathing. “One of us should go get Amelia from the main house,” Poe whispered.

“I should do it, you should be here if she wakes up,” Finn suggested. Poe nodded.

The sun was down, now, and Finn pulled on a hat and scarf to make the cold trek to the main house.  He let himself in, and saw Amelia asleep on the couch like he’d figured she would be.  He left her there, and found his mother and Leia in the kitchen, sipping tea and reading books.

He sat at the kitchen table with them, murmuring his hellos, then leaned his head into his hands. He’d been texting them all day, keeping them apprised of the latest news, but he hadn’t yet told them about the Meghan development. He felt his mom rub his forearm. It wasn’t that he was worried about their reaction, it was just that he was still processing everything himself.

“Is everything alright with Sam?” Anne asked.

“Yeah, he’s- she’s in a cast for six weeks, but she’ll be fine.” At their confused looks, Finn told them the whole story. “I hope that… I hope that when she wakes up, when the morphine has worn off, she doesn’t regret telling us.”

“You’ll cross that bridge if you have to.  Useless to worry about it now,” Leia said. “The job now is to love her no matter how she feels in the morning.”

“Amelia’s going to love having an older sister,” Anne commented.

“You think so? Because that would be the other top worry on my list of things to worry about come morning.”

“I just know it in my heart, and I think you do too. You wouldn’t have clicked with this new person unless you knew in the back of your mind that everything was going to be okay.”

“You have a lot of faith in Poe and me,” Finn replied tiredly.

“It’s not faith if I’ve seen proof of it every day since moving to Oregon,” Anne replied. Leia nodded.

Finn sighed. “Well, I guess I should get Amelia back, get one step closer to that morning I’m worried about.”  Anne and Leia stood with him, both hugging him in turn. “Thank you again for taking care of Amelia, especially with Elisa getting so close to her due date.”

Anne waved that off. “You know I’m always happy to spend time with my granddaughter. And I look forward to meeting my second one.”

He tiptoed into the living room, bundling Amelia’s blankets around her body and over her head rather than bothering with a coat, and prepared for the second time that night to carry his sleeping daughter home.

\------------------------

It was still dark when Amelia woke him up. “Daddy,” she was whispering on repeat.

He rubbed his eyes and brought her into focus. “Yeah, sweet pea? Everything okay?”

“Daddy, there’s someone in the other room. I heard them in there. Who is it?”

Despite the early hour, Finn indulged in a proud-papa moment as he inspected the excitement on Amelia’s face instead of anxiety.  She’d come a long way in a year.  He felt Poe stir on the other side of him.  Finn raised the blanket up, inviting Amelia to climb in.  She settled in, wrapping her little arms as far as she could around Finn.  He kissed the crown of her head. “Remember how we talked a few days ago about how you might be getting a new brother?”

“Yeah, you said “if it was a good fit.” I still don’t really get what that means, Daddy,” Amelia said in a frustrated tone.

“Well, how about if, instead of a brother, you got a sister?”

Finn held his breath as Amelia went silent, pondering his statement carefully just like she always did.  Slowly, she nodded. “Like Elsa and Anna are sisters. Except hopefully she won’t get mad at me and freeze the whole farm.”

Finn let his breath out in a chuckle. “Yeah, I don’t think she’s going to do that.  But listen, remember how when you first met us, you were kind of scared and you weren’t sure if you wanted to stay with us?”

“Yeah.”

“She might be like that for a while too, okay?  So I’m going to go check on her, and I’m going to ask you a huge favor. Would you mind staying here with Daddy for a bit, so we don’t scare her?”

“I can do that, Daddy.”

“You’re so kind, sweet pea.  I love you.” He gathered her up in his arms and rolled her over to Poe, who smiled at him sleepily and took the bundle of Amelia into his own arms.

“Call if you need me,” Poe mouthed over Amelia’s head.

Finn shuffled to Meghan’s door, and, upon hearing rustling sounds in the room beyond, knocked lightly on the door. He heard a soft, “Come in,” and entered. Meghan was sitting up in bed, still looking quite tired, pain etched on her delicate features.

Finn rushed over, hesitation forgotten as he checked her forehead for a fever, then helped her elevate her arm above her heart. “I’ll go get you some ice packs, and a pain pill. Hopefully that will make things better, okay, Meghan?”

Finn was turning away already but he caught the surprised look on her face as he said her name. He rushed to the kitchen and back, handing her a glass of water and a pill. “I hope you can swallow pills, I should have asked yesterday, but you were pretty out of it.”

“I can,” she said, taking the pill and swallowing, grimacing at the size.

He fussed around her some more, tucking pillows and ice packs around her until she stopped his adjustments with her right hand on his arm. “Finn, everything is fuzzy, but I just need to know… I can be Meghan, here?”

“As long as you’re with us, Poe and I will make sure you can be Meghan anywhere.”

She closed her eyes, bursting into tears. Finn hesitated, wanting to sweep her up into his arms as was his habit with Amelia, but not wanting to cross her physical boundaries, either. He finally decided that the best way to keep moving forward was to be honest. “Meghan, I’d like to comfort you, but I don’t want to remind you of your past,” he said, and she looked up at him, tears still running down her cheeks.

“Finn, neither of you could ever remind me of my dad, or I wouldn’t have called you yesterday.” She held her right arm out, and Finn carefully wrapped her in a hug.

“About that, I hope you know you never have to run away again.  You have a spot here, if you want it.”

Meghan sniffled and laid back. “But I thought that we had to wait until you saw me and Amelia getting along.  What if Amelia hates me?”

Finn realized then exactly what kind of performance pressure they’d been putting Meghan under. “Oh God, honey, I’m sorry. I mean, I want what’s best for Amelia, because she’s my daughter, but I want what’s best for you too. I didn’t think that that would make it sound like we expected you to get along or else we’d abandon you.”

“So I can stay, even if Amelia hates me?”

Finn was about to answer when Amelia burst into the room, followed closely by an apologetic Poe. “I don’t hate anyone! How could I hate you-ohhhhhh,” Amelia cut herself off as she was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Meghan’s injury. She climbed up on Meghan’s bed and reached for Meghan’s right hand, stroking it. “Are you going to be okay?”

Meghan smiled tremulously.  “Yeah, I just broke my arm.” She shrugged with her good shoulder.

“Ohhhh,” Amelia said again. “Colin at school broke his arm falling off the swing set, but his cast had trucks on it, cuz we like to play trucks together at school. I think I should get him a truck for his birthday. Did you fall off the swing set, too?”

Meghan looked a little shell shocked at the flow of words, managing to shake her head with her mouth hanging slightly open.

Finn grinned at Meghan over Amelia’s head, then picked Amelia up. “Okay sweet pea, it’s time to let Meghan get some more rest, and it’s insulin time for you.” He set her on the ground by the bed, getting up himself.

Amelia danced around the room. “Daddy, do you think Meghan will play soccer with me?  Or feed the chickens? Or play princess-slays-the-dragon?  Or what about the floor is lava? Or…” Amelia’s voice faded as she danced out the door and down toward the bathroom.

“I’ll take care of that,” Finn said, pausing in front of Poe to brush a kiss across his lips. “I gave Meghan a pain pill about 10 minutes ago, but there might be something else she needs. Oh, and depending on how her arm feels, we probably need to go shopping today. Meghan needs a wardrobe.”

\----------------------------------

“Daddy, did you know I helped her pick?” Amelia danced around the dining table, placing spoons haphazardly by plates. Finn smiled. Anne kept trying to show Amelia how to properly set a table, but Amelia had her own way, as always.  

They had been able to go shopping that afternoon, when Meghan had been feeling up for it. While Meghan had been sleeping, Finn had explained her situation in terms he’d hoped Amelia would understand, and when they’d gone shopping, they’d gotten just some basic necessities, but  Amelia had pulled Meghan over to the skirts and dresses, insisting she could help her choose her first “girl” outfit.  Finn and Poe had watched from a distance, letting them get acquainted, and Finn squeezed Poe’s hand when he saw Meghan reach down and ruffle Amelia’s hair affectionately. Amelia’s enthusiasm was hard to resist. Considering Amelia’s style choices out of her own wardrobe, though, Finn was a little worried about what she’d ‘helped’ Meghan choose.

Poe walked in from the kitchen and placed the stir fry on the table. He clapped his hands together, grinning down at the haphazard table settings. “Are we ready?”

“Just need Meghan,” Finn replied, looking up the empty stairs.

“I’ll go get her!” Amelia raced out.

Poe wrapped his arms around Finn, leaning his head on his shoulder. “I know there’s a lot of work to do from here, I know that Meghan has a long road ahead of her, but everything feels so right.”

Finn rubbed his back. “I know, I feel the same thing.”

Poe leaned back, looking Finn in the eyes. “Prepare to call me a cheeseball, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to conquer anything after the last few days.” He sunk into Finn’s lips.

“They do that a lot,” Amelia whispered loudly to Meghan. Amelia hadn’t really gotten the concept of whispering intentionally yet.

Finn and Poe broke apart, Poe blushing, but Meghan was smiling at them. “It’s okay guys, I’ve seen kissing before, I’m not 10.”

 _Annnnd sarcastic Meghan is back._ Finn smiled.

“Neither am I and I’ve seen it too!” pointed out Amelia. Meghan snorted.

“So, do I look okay?” Meghan’s voice was filled with anxiety, and she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear subconsciously.  She’d chosen a blue and white striped maxi skirt and plain blue blouse as a top, her shoulders hunched over in obvious teenage distress.

Poe smiled and answered, “I think you look courageous.”

“And strong,” Finn added.

“And pretty, too, daddies!” Amelia chimed in.

Meghan’s pale skin blushed, but Finn noticed that she stood a little straighter and smiled.

Amelia was already climbing into her chair. “Let’s eat, guys.”

And as they sat down for their first meal as a family, Finn locked eyes with Poe across the table, unable to express with words how full his heart felt.

\--------------------------

Meghan didn’t slide as easily into their lives as Amelia had. It wasn’t that Meghan wasn’t a natural fit for the family, because all four of them had realized that quickly.  It was just that Meghan’s issues were so layered and nuanced that it was all Finn and Poe could do to provide a stable environment for her as she worked through them.

Some parts resolved themselves easily, like Anne (and Leia, which she could take time off of farm work) taking over Meghan’s home schooling. Finn loved watching the formal Anne and the sarcastic Meghan interact; he couldn’t help but think that maybe it was just a little karmic payback for sending him away to boarding school and not having to deal with him as a teen.

They found a gender therapist in Salem that Meghan liked, who suggested a doctor who could prescribe pubertal blockers that would keep her from experiencing puberty as a boy.  Meghan was lucky in that she seemed to be a late bloomer already, but the blockers would allow her pause her hormones until she could start taking estrogen, if she wanted to. Anne had insisted that they use some of Findley’s estate to pay for the blocker injections when Finn’s insurance deemed them medically unnecessary.

And the blocker didn’t stop Meghan from waking up hysterical one morning, beating her right fist against her bed until her knuckles were bleeding. Poe was finally able to calm her down, coax out of her what was wrong, and she admitted she’d had a wet dream in the night. She was mortified to her very soul that it had happened, that she’d “ruined” her sheets and blankets and nightgown, and she couldn’t stop repeating how much she hated herself, hated her body. Finn sat outside her room, not wanting to increase her embarrassment, and listened as Poe rocked her and told her that she was loved, that she was brave, that she was gorgeous. At some point, Amelia joined Finn on the floor, worried about her older sister but unsure of how she could help.  Finn felt just as helpless. She’d stayed in her room until the afternoon, coming out only for the emergency session with the therapist they’d scheduled. When they came home, she went back to her room, but she invited Amelia along to draw with her.

She also had a negative reaction to Snap, becoming very subdued and not meeting anyone’s eyes when Snap and Elisa visited with their new baby boy, Luis. She asked Finn quietly if she could be excused without eating hardly any of her dinner, then went to her room. This time, Finn joined her, asking if she wanted to talk.

Meghan sat on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. “He reminds me of my dad,” she mumbled into her knees. “Snap.  My dad was big and strong like that, with a beard and everything. I’m sorry I ruined dinner.”

As always, Finn sought consent with a quick, “May I?” before beginning to rub her back. “You’re safe. You’re home. And your dad will never, ever be able to touch you again. You didn’t ruin the meal.  We can adjust.”

“But he’s Poe’s best friend.”

“Adjusting doesn’t mean cutting Snap out of our lives, because he’s a good man, I promise you, or Poe wouldn’t be his best friend. It means putting you in situations where you can handle it.”

“I hate that I’m like this,” Meghan said, talking to her knees again.

“You have every right to be like this. Did you know Amelia used to hide behind me when we met any new people?”

Meghan lifted her head and smirked. “I don’t believe you.”

“Honest to God. She used to go to therapy a lot more frequently, and she still gets overwhelmed by certain social situations. I’m so worried about her first year of school with Kindergarten next year. But I was going somewhere else with this. We came up with a signal Amelia could use, just with me and Poe, when she was uncomfortable and needed to leave the room. It’s totally guilt free, with no judgements from either of us, or anyone else here at the farm, if she uses it.  Because we want her to be comfortable, to be able to take breaks without feeling bad about needing to ask to do so. And I think something like that would work with you, but we have to make sure you don’t feel bad about using it. Because eventually I think you’ll end up like Amelia.  You’ll be able to see Snap and not think of your dad.  But it’s okay that you can’t do that right now.”

“You really think I can be fixed?”

“Honey, you’re not broken. Neither is Amelia. Sometimes, I worry about things so much that I give myself panic attacks.  I’m not broken either.  Sometimes, Poe stays up late and plays guitar because he can’t stand what he thinks he’ll see if he sleeps. And-”

“And Poe’s not broken,” Meghan murmured. “So I’m not broken.”

“No. But we all learned of ways to cope so those things don’t happen as often, and that’s what you’re doing right now.  Learning to cope. And just like learning to do anything, it takes time. Like the time you spend drawing, perfecting your art.”

Meghan took a deep breath in, blew it out. “Thank you, Finn.”

“Amelia’s signal is “I need to take a walk.”  Or, she asks if one of us will come with her.  Do you think that would work for you?”

She considered it. “I think I could give it a try.”

And so it was in tiny increments that Meghan’s issues began to mesh together with the rest of the family’s. She learned to help Amelia with her insulin, amazing Poe and Finn with how much she could get accomplished with just one hand.  She became fast friends with Rigo, Mary’s nephew, and they would sit together at the soccer games, joking and drawing.  And in March, when she turned 14, she celebrated her first birthday as her true self. Finn and Poe surprised her with the documentation for an official name and gender change, ready to be delivered if she wished it. When Meghan became officially theirs in July, Poe and Finn wanted her to be able to see the name she wanted on the new birth certificate. She placed the stamps on the envelope with care as everyone watched, several hands around the room wiping at tears. The whole group marched with her to the mailbox, and they cheered when she put it in and pulled up the flag.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! I basically couldn't stop writing all day because I had to get Meghan's story out of my system - like seriously I felt anxiety until I knew she was safe and on the road to happiness with Finn, Poe, and Amelia.
> 
> Several people served as direct or indirect inspiration for this work. Everyone who asked me to introduce more siblings, obviously, but also gaypoedameron, your suggestion of Amelia working through her sexual identity inspired this work. And PolaroidScreams, thank you for letting me bounce ideas off of you, and for your invaluable suggestions.
> 
> As always, comment here or message me on tumblr @animalasaysrauer if you want to see something, and I can try to make it happen.
> 
> Thank you for all the love, kudos, and comments as always. Stay awesome, my Stormpilot family.


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